SUBMITTED BY: RAY HOWARD
Ray Howard submitted his Magnify Him story to Overflow and our editor was intrigued, as it is not often you hear of a man admitting that he was a “shopaholic.” Amie sat down with Ray to find out more. His story reveals a testimony of God’s goodness and how if you believe God, He can bring you out of anything. Many people have found themselves in similar situations as Ray – under a mountain of debt – living in an instant gratification society, with several maxed out credit cards. His excessive shopping not only damaged his finances, but his relationships as well. Ray shares his very personal journey through addiction, recovery, and restoration. (The foregoing is a combination of Ray’s written and verbal testimony.)
Ray started shopping when he left home as a young man and it continued into his adulthood. His mother also liked to shop excessively, and it was an enjoyable pastime that they shared together. “She got a job to support her habit. Unlike me; I let my wife, Margaret, get a job to support my habit (something I have regretted for years).” Ray went year after year spending large amounts of money shopping without regard for the debt he was racking up. “I noticed I had a problem after our daughter was born.” Ray would buy expensive items for his daughter when he knew she would grow out of them quickly. His wife was upset, as the spending got out of control.
Ray noticed his spending was over the top, but he just kept shopping and buying. “I was driving by a dealership one day and saw this beautiful car. It screamed, ‘BUY ME!’ So, I did. It was in the driveway when Margaret got home from work and she said, ‘This is the final straw.’ I realized she was right. It sort of slapped me in the face at that point. At this time, we were so in debt that she was working a part-time job and I was working a part-time job, plus our regular jobs, just to pay the credit card payments. That was the start of a downward spiral that only God could help me with.” Ray and Margaret separated and decided to file for bankruptcy due to the unmanageable debts. This shows how drastic the problem was.
“After the divorce I still was not willing to admit my issue, but thank God, we serve a merciful God.” Ray explained that he and Margaret remained friends for their daughter’s sake and after both of their mothers fell ill, they were drawn back to each other. They began dating again. “Months went by and my ex-wife and I started to repair our lives. She introduced me to an awesome woman of God who stepped in and helped us greatly through her ministry.” While attending these ministry meetings, the Lord was working on Ray’s heart to correct the addiction problem and repair his relationship with his ex-wife.
“Margaret and I started talking about restoring our marriage, so I had been asking her, ‘Tell me what you want me to work on. Give me a list of some things. I need you to tell me, so I can work on them.’ Her response was, ‘No. I’m telling the Lord and the Lord will work it out.’ At this time, my church was having camp meetings, so I decided to go to the morning session. The speaker asked if anyone needed prayer. I reluctantly went up. When she got to me, she said, ‘I do not understand this, but God is telling me you will.’ God’s words to me were, ‘[Be quiet] so I can tell you what she is asking of you.’ No one – but God, my wife, and I – knew what Margaret had said to me. So, I [was quiet] and God said, ‘Pay child support.’”
“It was not the money that concerned Margaret, it was the responsibility. There was so much that I did wrong and so many people that I hurt along the journey of my addiction. From stealing from God (I would take our tithe sometimes and go shopping), to untold credit card debt, to bouncing checks, to borrowing money I could not repay. Before I knew it, Satan had me in his snare and it was a long way back. But, God will restore what the devourer has stolen (1 Peter 5:8).”
“We were in a church meeting and the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, ‘Put your treasures in the One in whom you seek.’ I thought, ‘Okay, I can do that.’ It wasn’t too long after that I had someone at another church come up to me with a Word from God. She said, ‘God said He’s going to honor you for what He told you and you won’t have to want for [things] anymore.’ I accepted it.” God was telling Ray that if he will seek Him first and put his desires into the things of God, God will in turn give him everything that he needs and even the desires of his heart. So Ray began immediately putting God’s wisdom into action.
About eighteen months after they separated and divorced, God restored Ray and Margaret’s relationship and they remarried. They agreed on a budget for their finances and have spending allowances in cash. Ray began to look at shopping in a whole new light. “Once I got into that habit of looking at things and knowing that I only have this much to spend, a lot of things started changing.”
Ray has some advice for others in similar situations. “Seek godly help and godly wisdom. Be careful who you go to. My pastor said to me, ‘In all this, you need to guard your heart.’ That’s what you need to do. Listen to your heart and your conscience and when something doesn’t seem right, it’s probably not right. When I started my healing, I knew something had to be done and I was willing to let God help. You have to become a completely yielded vessel. Had it not been for God’s love, mercy, and grace, I truly do not know where I would be. To God be the glory.”
The Christmas season can be especially hard for those that have a shopping or overspending problem. Ray shares how he overcomes the urge to shop and spend excessively during this time of year. He and his wife keep it simple. They set a budget of what to spend on one another and other family members. When Ray heads to the stores to purchase Christmas gifts, he only brings cash so that he is not tempted to buy additional items and spend more than he should. This is great advice for all of us!
