It doesn't have to be a fantasy; it can be the reality of marriage with God's help.

I remember the first Valentine’s card I bought my wife. We were not dating yet. The card said, “You need me…You may not know it yet, but you do.” Ironically, it wasn’t until I asked someone else out that she got interested in me. She later told me that I had grown on her. O, the eloquence of young love! After seventeen years of marriage, we still are devoted to one another and still laugh about the unique way that God brought us together.

Every year, February 7-14 is designated National Marriage Week. This is a time to take a good look at where we are in our marriages and what can be done to improve our marriage relationships. Taking stock of our marriages will help us renew our commitment to our spouse and family as well as to ourselves. When we seek our mate’s best interests, we enhance our own well-being. As Ephesians 5:28 (NIV) says, “…He who loves his wife loves himself.”

Marriage plays an important role in our society and offers many benefits. Research suggests that married people enjoy better physical and mental health and more satisfying love lives. In addition, married people earn more money, and the children of married couples are more likely to be safe and successful. We should not be surprised that God’s way works best.

Marriage is a gift God has given humanity to allow us to find fulfillment and support. God created Adam in His own likeness. Adam was unique among God’s creations, but he was alone. Genesis 2:18 (TLB) says, “And the Lord God said, ‘It isn’t good for man to be alone; I will make a companion for him, a helper suited to his needs.’” God designed marriage for our benefit. The Lord joins us together in a way that allows our similarities to make us compatible and our differences to be complimentary to one another.

The marriage relationship is most satisfying when the couple exists in harmony with one another. In Matthew 19, Jesus explained that God joins a husband and wife together as one flesh and no one should work to divide what God has joined together. It is not just a legal or emotional union, but a vital spiritual bond. This can be complicated in a society that values independence, but those who yield themselves completely to one another enjoy a rich and rewarding relationship. We can reclaim that marriage bond knowing that God can heal and restore that unity.

New love is accompanied by a rush of chemicals in the brain that produces the fireworks, the butterflies, the weak knees, and the sweaty palms. We find ourselves missing that special person and longing for their presence. Over time, those chemical fireworks are less intense than in the stage of infatuation, allowing the relationship to bridge the way to intimacy and commitment.

The fantasy of fairy tales does not prepare us for the reality of marriage. Fairy tales end with the marriage of the prince and the princess as they ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after. By that point, all adversaries and challenges have been conquered, and the words happily ever after summarize their entire married life. Happily ever after does not have to be fantasy; it can be the reality of marriage with God’s help.

The best way for us to achieve lasting love is to make use of the owner’s manual for love and marriage, God’s Word. The Bible declares that “God is Love” (1 John 4:8). He is the essence of love. We frequently hear people refer to 1 Corinthians 13 as the “Love Chapter.” In the description of the characteristics of love, we see a reflection of God.

Healthy love values honesty, loyalty, trust, open communication, demonstration, commitment, selflessness, forgiveness, kindness, and mutual respect. Love sacrifices to serve and seeks the benefit of its object. Love does not envy, boast, bow up, or misbehave. Love sees the flaws, but puts a spotlight on the best qualities of its object. Love finds fulfillment in two people working in harmony as one flesh.

God wants us to value, respect, and honor one another in the marriage relationship. In 1 Corinthians 7:3 (NKJV), the Bible says, “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.” We were created in God’s image, and marriage gives us a means to reflect the qualities of God toward our spouse. In fact, in Ephesians 5:25-33 the relationship between a husband and wife is compared to the relationship between Jesus Christ and His Church. Marriage is intended to enhance our best qualities and provide a help-mate to compensate for our areas of weakness so that we can grow together even in the challenges we face.

Even those who have a stable and healthy relationship would do well to give extra attention to it, especially in these times. Don’t underestimate how a little romance will stir the embers of hearth and home. No matter how tight your budget may be, the investment you make in your marriage now will continue to pay dividends for years to come.

Candlelit dinners, flowers, and/or a walk on the shore can be inexpensive but still valuable in strengthening that relationship. Tap into your inner poet or write a love letter to your spouse. Find a creative way to serve your spouse in a way that appeals to their five senses.

Whatever the state of your relationship, it can be improved and enhanced. Look for ways to compliment your mate every day. Speak kindly to and about your spouse. Go out of your way to do things for them without being prompted. Biblical love is selfless and giving.

Looking back, I realize now the sage wisdom of that Valentine’s Day card. My wife and I needed each other to be the people God created us to be, and I hope we never quit “growing” on one another as we live happily ever after. Glory!